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Dear World,

Why are AP exams so close? Why do I have one on Tuesday? Why is that one the Spanish one?

Why is May so busy? Why haven't I gotten my self together? Why is lacrosse season almost over?

Okay, instead of asking more questions, I would rather post about things. Entonces.

This Monday is the Blair-Northwood game which I am very excited about! I hope we perform at our highest level.

Tuesday: AP Examination #1

Wednesday: English Research Paper GO!

Thursday: Kiera's Birthday, Media Paper and Presentation GO!

Friday: Lacrosse Banquet?

Saturday: AP World Review/Viola/Garden Party?

Sunday: CAPPIES voting -blah

Then it shall be my birthday! Hooray. Note so self.. schedule driver's test.

Anyhow the future!

-Peter, Bjorn, and John Concert tonight. I am excited. They are from Sweden as so many good things are (namely Sara G.).

more to come later!

Glub Glub Glub

The feeling of inadequacy is not foreign to me.
In fact I feel it a lot.
And so when I am feeling such despair
I turn inwards and scold myself
saying words and phrases like
Come on Laura. Other people have it worse.
Catch the damn ball. Throw it and make a play.
Only Lacrosse is more complicated than it seems.
And with me so complicated and the sport
so complicated
it only makes the situation more messy.
And so.
I try to find some dignity, some bravery,
a tough skin and other frame of mind
when I don't have to feel
the shame of dropping the ball
and also scrambling for words
that don't seem to leap from my tongue
like they do for other people.
Only when I write
do I feel that I actually have some control
over what I am expressing.
Even music is hard
which is ironic, because
it is a form of self-expression.
Maybe these feelings
are a result of the change in the weather
and the level of tree pollen in the atmosphere
maybe it's me being teenage
but I still am feeling this way.
And when I turn inwards
towards myself
I say. Come on Laura. Make a play.