Oh Ben Gibbard,
I will write you a poem
Oh Ben Gibbard
You make me feel so happy
Your lyrics are so smooth, and true
true to the truest sense of the word
You uplift me from some depths
and I soar to such great heights
and breathe the clean, recycled air
Sometimes when I wander
the Bixby Canyon Bridge
I think of the town I know as downtown
downtown, downtown D.C
Where the lovers are left
and the sutures are being pulled out
Oh Ben Gibbard
How I love you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Cold, Tired, and Content
Today. I did something that was crazy.
Running three miles! Let's analyze this. I haven't been running forever, and when I was running I was wishing that I could cut off my feet because they hurt so bad, but now I am feeling pretty good.
I think one of things that has been getting me down during the winter months is the lack of sports/running I have been doing.
So now even though my life is due tomorrow, and thursday, I am relatively happy. I am eternally grateful to my friends of putting up with me, and for Kiera who likes to drive me around places and wants to hang out with me! I feel so cool.
I love that my friends are so willing to help me out, like Alex taking home my viola, and Emma who always is willing to hear me out, and Malka when we talk about so much stuff, and Eleni when we complain, and everyone else whom I can just go BLAH. and they can relate.
Yesterday's post was really whiny and complainy and just pissy. I was in a pretty dismal mood, and couldn't get to sleep last night. I read FMLs for about a hour. Afterwards, I felt pretty good about my own life.
I will make a greater effort to be concious of what opportunities that I have been given. I think I will do a Beckett and list everything. Maybe in the next one because I have homework to do and it is already 6:35.
Running three miles! Let's analyze this. I haven't been running forever, and when I was running I was wishing that I could cut off my feet because they hurt so bad, but now I am feeling pretty good.
I think one of things that has been getting me down during the winter months is the lack of sports/running I have been doing.
So now even though my life is due tomorrow, and thursday, I am relatively happy. I am eternally grateful to my friends of putting up with me, and for Kiera who likes to drive me around places and wants to hang out with me! I feel so cool.
I love that my friends are so willing to help me out, like Alex taking home my viola, and Emma who always is willing to hear me out, and Malka when we talk about so much stuff, and Eleni when we complain, and everyone else whom I can just go BLAH. and they can relate.
Yesterday's post was really whiny and complainy and just pissy. I was in a pretty dismal mood, and couldn't get to sleep last night. I read FMLs for about a hour. Afterwards, I felt pretty good about my own life.
I will make a greater effort to be concious of what opportunities that I have been given. I think I will do a Beckett and list everything. Maybe in the next one because I have homework to do and it is already 6:35.
________
someone is literally hammering at my door. and the doorframe. sometimes I just don't get heard over the din of the roar that is my life.
Monday, February 23, 2009
My Life, in a really really small nut that is so small it doesn't deserve a shell
So this is what my life has come down to.
1. I am very fond of numbering things.
2. National History Day - this is what my free time is now, working on it
3. Homework, which I should be doing but I am developing my voice, which is sort of like homework
4. Counting down the days until the weekend, except I am really counting down the days because Lacrosse tryouts start on Saturday.
5. Scrambling to get my portfolio stuff together for CAP. I feel like if it isn't in portfolio then it is worth pretty much nothing.
6. Practicing for Solo Festival with Adam, and also for Orchestra, except neither really because I don't have time to practice. I think about practicing though.
7. Organizing my time, talking about organizing my time, and eventually just not organizing my time.
8. Spending time surfing the net instead of doing my homework.
9. Trying to apply to a dozen programs/internships which I should get cracking on because I need a ton of teacher recommendations.
10. What is my schedule next year? How come Ms. Wilson is never in when I need to talk to her? How come I filled out that request for Counselor thing last week and they still have not gotten back to me?
11. Why do I suck at Spanish? I mean when I think about it in my head it is absolutely fine, and when it comes out I am at a loss as to what to say. Then I get frustrated because I would know exactly what to say if it was in English.
12. I think that I should be able to get into college without trying so hard.
13. The economy has to get better soon otherwise I might need to off someone. As Colin said, this isn't even the worst of it, it's going to dip in the summer. Just great.
14. I just mistakenly borrowed a book from Kathryn Kelly (is that how you spell her name?) which I have to return but it's really cool. It has some interesting information
15. Can I just get March done with? SATs suck, NHD sucks, Solo Festival is going to suck, LAX tryouts are going to suck, it's going to suck until the end of March.
Please, can there be some way out for me?
1. I am very fond of numbering things.
2. National History Day - this is what my free time is now, working on it
3. Homework, which I should be doing but I am developing my voice, which is sort of like homework
4. Counting down the days until the weekend, except I am really counting down the days because Lacrosse tryouts start on Saturday.
5. Scrambling to get my portfolio stuff together for CAP. I feel like if it isn't in portfolio then it is worth pretty much nothing.
6. Practicing for Solo Festival with Adam, and also for Orchestra, except neither really because I don't have time to practice. I think about practicing though.
7. Organizing my time, talking about organizing my time, and eventually just not organizing my time.
8. Spending time surfing the net instead of doing my homework.
9. Trying to apply to a dozen programs/internships which I should get cracking on because I need a ton of teacher recommendations.
10. What is my schedule next year? How come Ms. Wilson is never in when I need to talk to her? How come I filled out that request for Counselor thing last week and they still have not gotten back to me?
11. Why do I suck at Spanish? I mean when I think about it in my head it is absolutely fine, and when it comes out I am at a loss as to what to say. Then I get frustrated because I would know exactly what to say if it was in English.
12. I think that I should be able to get into college without trying so hard.
13. The economy has to get better soon otherwise I might need to off someone. As Colin said, this isn't even the worst of it, it's going to dip in the summer. Just great.
14. I just mistakenly borrowed a book from Kathryn Kelly (is that how you spell her name?) which I have to return but it's really cool. It has some interesting information
15. Can I just get March done with? SATs suck, NHD sucks, Solo Festival is going to suck, LAX tryouts are going to suck, it's going to suck until the end of March.
Please, can there be some way out for me?
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
A Post Show Discussion
So I've realized some things, I'll number them in the hopes that I will have more than 3 realizations.
1. Post show Discussions can either be amazing or not so amazing
ex. : Post show for Eurydice (I would recommend it to everyone, Emma's dad is amazing and so is Adriano Gatto who is Orpheus).
I think that they become more interesting, as Mitchell would put it "INT-er-esting" (that's one of the people he plays) when you know the people on stage, or at the very least want to be best friends with all of them.
ex. #2 : I asked a question to the cast, "Why Shakespeare rather than... let's say... Oscar Wilde?" There was a huge tomb? of Shakespeare sent to Eurydice by Orpheus when she died. I got some interesting responses, I liked the facial expressions and especially because Orpheus gave me a get out of town gesture! It was a connection that we had! Rather exciting I should think.
2. Post Shows can suck a lot when you don't want to be there. Especially if it's at night when you are tired and want to go home and sleep.
ex. No examples, I am sure all of you can think of one. Human nature happens to work that way.
3. Research discussions are the most depressing way to end a day.
ex. Talking about college
ex. #2 : Talking about your most painful memory
ex. #3 : If you had a pill that you could take that could erase that memory, would you take it?
Now because I was not able to express my opinion in class, usually it's dominated, or let's say monopolized by a few people each class, I think it should be treated like abortion.
Everyone has rights to their own body, those are unalienable rights. period for extra emphasis.
If you don't want to have an abortion, than don't get one! Don't stop anyone else from doing it because it's their own choice! The same argument applies here, if that person has a memory so excruciating that it haunts them every waking moment, and every sleeping moment, they have the right to suppress that memory through medication. If they want to get rid of it all together, more power to them.
Really it depends on the person, their situation, and what their beliefs are. You can't make a decision based on a broad spectrum, you have to be specific to that person. I do advocate a prescription so that a medical professional can give their advice.
I have had some pretty traumatic experiences myself, one particular memory that is so painful that I really can't bring myself to think about at all. This memory has proven some doubts that I have, strengthened my relationships with others, and has really helped me grow as person. I am pretty well adjusted I would say given my situation, and so I personally would not choose to forget this memory. On the other hand, if someone else, such as my sister let's say, had the same experience, and she was suffering from it and she was severely depressed, and was traumatized, yeah, she should consider taking that pill. Suffering is not worth it, pain can kill you. Maybe not physically, but emotionally you could become stunted.
Now this is my own particular opinion. I guess I should ask what's yours?
1. Post show Discussions can either be amazing or not so amazing
ex. : Post show for Eurydice (I would recommend it to everyone, Emma's dad is amazing and so is Adriano Gatto who is Orpheus).
I think that they become more interesting, as Mitchell would put it "INT-er-esting" (that's one of the people he plays) when you know the people on stage, or at the very least want to be best friends with all of them.
ex. #2 : I asked a question to the cast, "Why Shakespeare rather than... let's say... Oscar Wilde?" There was a huge tomb? of Shakespeare sent to Eurydice by Orpheus when she died. I got some interesting responses, I liked the facial expressions and especially because Orpheus gave me a get out of town gesture! It was a connection that we had! Rather exciting I should think.
2. Post Shows can suck a lot when you don't want to be there. Especially if it's at night when you are tired and want to go home and sleep.
ex. No examples, I am sure all of you can think of one. Human nature happens to work that way.
3. Research discussions are the most depressing way to end a day.
ex. Talking about college
ex. #2 : Talking about your most painful memory
ex. #3 : If you had a pill that you could take that could erase that memory, would you take it?
Now because I was not able to express my opinion in class, usually it's dominated, or let's say monopolized by a few people each class, I think it should be treated like abortion.
Everyone has rights to their own body, those are unalienable rights. period for extra emphasis.
If you don't want to have an abortion, than don't get one! Don't stop anyone else from doing it because it's their own choice! The same argument applies here, if that person has a memory so excruciating that it haunts them every waking moment, and every sleeping moment, they have the right to suppress that memory through medication. If they want to get rid of it all together, more power to them.
Really it depends on the person, their situation, and what their beliefs are. You can't make a decision based on a broad spectrum, you have to be specific to that person. I do advocate a prescription so that a medical professional can give their advice.
I have had some pretty traumatic experiences myself, one particular memory that is so painful that I really can't bring myself to think about at all. This memory has proven some doubts that I have, strengthened my relationships with others, and has really helped me grow as person. I am pretty well adjusted I would say given my situation, and so I personally would not choose to forget this memory. On the other hand, if someone else, such as my sister let's say, had the same experience, and she was suffering from it and she was severely depressed, and was traumatized, yeah, she should consider taking that pill. Suffering is not worth it, pain can kill you. Maybe not physically, but emotionally you could become stunted.
Now this is my own particular opinion. I guess I should ask what's yours?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Yale and really what about it?
So today, in my most awesome Junior CAP Portfolio Seminar class, whose? aim is to create the coveted CAP portfolio, Shindel told us to create a document which contains 5 colleges of our choice. Except Duke, mainly because of its basketball.
I started thinking, then decided thinking would be productive if I could just jot things down onto Word, which in reality is much easier.
So my "list" if it could really be called that is a hodgepodge of colleges that I've been setting my eyes on, and might possibly if I try really hard and become Meryl Streep, might get accepted into. Let's run it down:
1) Oberlin College
I believe that this is the Admissions Building - I visited this place in Nov. 08
2) Amherst College
3) Connecticut College
4) Northwestern U.
5) Yale College
The fictional Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller lived in Branford College
I had another one.
6) University of Chicago
The author of Freakonomics teaches here!
I started thinking, then decided thinking would be productive if I could just jot things down onto Word, which in reality is much easier.
So my "list" if it could really be called that is a hodgepodge of colleges that I've been setting my eyes on, and might possibly if I try really hard and become Meryl Streep, might get accepted into. Let's run it down:
1) Oberlin College
I believe that this is the Admissions Building - I visited this place in Nov. 08
3) Connecticut College
4) Northwestern U.
5) Yale College
The fictional Rory Gilmore and Paris Geller lived in Branford College6) University of Chicago
The author of Freakonomics teaches here!Basically, what I am trying to get at is.
This whole college process is very stressful. Students work their whole lives towards getting into a college, whether it is Ivy-covered, has hallowed halls, or just has a decent dining hall. I recognize it is productive to be, well productive, also, this exercise pretty much just freaked me out.
I have every confidence that I'll get into college, one of these if I am lucky. But, I should enjoy the precious amount of time that I have left before it's off into the big world, where I can't really just take everything in school for granted.
So if Yale decides to take me, or if Yale does not. Then who cares, (not I?) No, actually that is a lie, I care a lot. Yale is great, in case the admissions officer for Yale cared to read my blog. Yale is great! Rory and Paris, went there!
If you kids out there have no idea who I am referencing, then it is time to take some time out of your schedule to watch Gilmore Girls. Most of my references come from that show.
This whole college process is very stressful. Students work their whole lives towards getting into a college, whether it is Ivy-covered, has hallowed halls, or just has a decent dining hall. I recognize it is productive to be, well productive, also, this exercise pretty much just freaked me out.
I have every confidence that I'll get into college, one of these if I am lucky. But, I should enjoy the precious amount of time that I have left before it's off into the big world, where I can't really just take everything in school for granted.
So if Yale decides to take me, or if Yale does not. Then who cares, (not I?) No, actually that is a lie, I care a lot. Yale is great, in case the admissions officer for Yale cared to read my blog. Yale is great! Rory and Paris, went there!
If you kids out there have no idea who I am referencing, then it is time to take some time out of your schedule to watch Gilmore Girls. Most of my references come from that show.
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